Unemployment can undermine a man's sense of worth.
According to the United States Department of Labor, the national unemployment rate hovered somewhere around 9.1% in May 2011. Financial stress is a strain on marriage, and the negative effects of unemployment can increase exponentially if they are not proactively nipped in the bud. A few simple tools can help women motivate jobless husbands that are discouraged with failed attempts to secure employment in a tough job market.
Set Limits
If you are temporarily the sole breadwinner in your family, ask your husband to pick up the slack at home. Set limits around cooking, cleaning, and driving the kids to school and extracurricular activities. Ask your husband to perform these duties for as long as he is unemployed. This will not only motivate him to find employment, it will also give him a daily sense of accomplishment that will boost his self-image.
Troubleshoot
Your husband may be struggling with disillusionment and discouragement if his attempts to secure employment have been unsuccessful. Call a meeting with your spouse in order to brainstorm and problem-solve. Decide whether further education, a different career path or an adjustment to his current resume will help him gain traction in the job market. This will not only help your husband in a practical way, it will also put you on the same team, which will build deep and positive relational bonds.
Encourage
Even when your husband is not successful in securing a new job, he needs to know that you understand how hard he is trying. Praise him daily for sending out resumes and going on interviews. Don't fall into the trap of letting your husband vent all his frustrations to you; encourage him without pandering to any self-pity that may emerge. A simple kiss and, "You're a stud for trying so hard," should be plenty to let your man know you still respect him.
Be Proactive
Fight depression before it sets in; a depressed husband is far less likely to secure a job than one that is glowing with hope and confidence. Schedule weekly family dates that are cost-effective or even free. Trips to the park will get your husband out into the sunshine, laughing with the kids. Picnic hikes will keep him active and fan the romantic flames between you. A cheap ball game or museum trip will stimulate his senses and inspire him to keep searching for where he fits into the grand scheme of things.
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